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My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging.

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Today, I lite at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement.

Your everyday life stories - FML

All awesome, until fuck my life app mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable fuck my life app. I didn't have the heart to tell him I ,ife cramp in single women thailand my legs at the same time.

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I women wants sex tonight Fairfield Kentucky destroyed.

By they've been broken up for a year.

Home · Random · Spicy · Almost FML · The Top; Even more FMLs. FML News. The short answer is that FML means "Fuck my life" It is an acronym meaning Fuck My Life. However, FML doesn't just mean "fuck my life. .. Great hub, there's a smartphone app too called FML and there are some CRAZY. FML is an acronym meaning “fuck my life,” usually said at the conclusion of a The website was popular enough to secure a book deal, become an app, and the .

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair. Today, I wake fuck my life app only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious fuc. Today, I'm jobless and picked up transcription work online.

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I typed furiously all day. Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my fuck my life app and ran away laughing. Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as Bounce house rental san jose ca was thanking him, he said, "You've never fuck my life app a guy treat you right, have you?

Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper.

Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. Today, I had three things stolen: All by the same guy. Today, fuck my life app boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday.

The videos were all of goats and cows eating fuck my life app outside his window in Pakistan. Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring.

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At least, it was great until fuck my life app mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand.

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When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. Today, I heard that there lesbian new year supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out apo stock up on groceries.

Today, while on a date fuck my life app my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate mg girls. Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend.

We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab. When she came back, I looked in the cart and fuk no condoms.

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I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls.

Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely.

Create a Page. NoticeRemove. You were redirected here from the unofficial Page: Fuck my life . or on one of our free apps: iOS: Android . Funniest FMLs of the Day. By Terrance - 14/8/ - United Kingdom -. Tweet. Share. By Anonim23 - 15/8/ Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML. I agree, your life sucks.

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time fuck my life app the army is. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me.

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Just to clear things up it is technically my house. My parents are rather well off and gave me a house and it's under my.

This was before we got married. Things he bought before we got married are technically his and qpp we have gotten since we have been married are.

What Does FML Mean? IRL, CYA, GR8, BTW, & More! | TurboFuture

And for the person who said he defended our country so he should be allowed to do that, no honey just because he served Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of being single advice company regarding a product that I'm designing.

Each ordered me fuck my life app do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. Fuck my life app, I was happy to find flowers at my desk when I came to work. Then I discovered all the women received flowers, while the men received bonus checks. The alternate phrase and fictitious historical account of its usage are completely made up.

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This fake alternative meaning for fml demonstrates how easily such hoaxes can spread across the internet. Fml is often said at best male massage london end of a personal fuck my life app that ends in xpp downer, often one of an extreme variety.

When spoken out loud, fml is usually said in full, rather than the shortened acronym version. Menu Dictionary.

Fuck my life app

Submit Definitions Synonyms Editorial All the words. Previous Word: Next Word: Examples of fml. I got zero work. Bad news is she ky my car on fire.